


He Loves Me (not)

by kwonstaar



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Acceptance, Angst, Art, Bittersweet, Ending is still unknown, Fate, Flowers, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forgotten Love, Hanahaki Disease, Light Angst, Love, M/M, One-Sided Love, One-Sided Relationship, flower petals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-25 16:25:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19749418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kwonstaar/pseuds/kwonstaar
Summary: Jihoon started coughing out flowers petals ever since Soonyoung went away. All the years of their friendship were all gone and buried in the past because of his stupidity now he has to suffer the consequences.But now Soonyoung is back, will he be able to get the love that he's been yearning for?





	1. Chapter 1

Jihoon woke up feeling nauseous, head still spinning from the amount of alcohol he drank last night. The rays of the sun peeking from the holes of the curtains, striking his eyes. He’s not sure what time it is already but he didn’t care. He’s used to this kind of life now.

Jihoon slept for a few more minutes before dragging himself out of bed. He wasn’t supposed to get up but he already heard his stomach grumble. He put his shirt on before going out his room. He even almost tripped on the bottles of soju lying on the floor. Jihoon kicked them frustratedly, not even minding the sharp clanking sounds they made.

A year had already passed and he’s still like this. He doesn’t care with his life anymore, generally.

Jihoon lost everything. His art gallery, which took him years to establish. It was the fruit of his hard work. It was his dream. It was his passion.

Until he lost his will to paint.

He used to paint with his heart filled with excitement and happiness. Every stroke he made felt like a cathartic release. He’s suddenly transported to a world filled with colors. Filled with art. Filled with beauty.

But that’s not the case now.

He was having a hard time getting inspiration. He tried and tried to squeeze out the creative juices inside him, but he is constantly failing.

The life that was filled with colors was now painted in grey. Colorless. Lifeless. Maybe useless as well.

But what pained him the most was losing the one he treasured because of his stupidity. Jihoon can only laugh at himself whenever the memories are flashing inside his head again.

‘Tell me you love me.’

‘I’m sorry. I don’t.’

What a fool.

He already saw how that person suffered because of him but, he still chose to be selfish. Great job, Lee Jihoon.

Jihoon lives in a very small apartment unit, the cheapest one, he could afford. When he got it, it was even far from being inhabitable. Broken door, minimal furniture, paint peeling off the wall. It was definitely a disaster. Jihoon just made use of the savings he got from working multiple part time jobs to somehow restore the place.

He went to the kitchen to make himself a coffee, hoping that somehow, it would cure his hangover. Just how much did he drink last night? He can’t really remember.

He’s already getting used to this kind of routine. Passing out because of drinking too much. Waking up with a hangover. Regretting life choices.

It’s just a cycle. A never-ending cycle.

Jihoon scanned his place and sighed. There’s too much clutter. He can’t even see the floor anymore because of the newspapers, cloths, broken canvass, paintbrushes (bristles already hard because of dried paint), spilled paints, and lastly, flower petals.

It would be great if the flowers came from his fans and admirers. However, that’s not the case.

Those flowers came from his lungs.

His. Fucking. Lungs.

Jihoon carelessly poured his coffee in his mug, some of it spilling on the counter. The scent of it slowly mixing with the strong smell of alcohol and paint. It suddenly made him feel even more sick.

He moved on the couch, clearing some space on it, letting the sheets of paper and canvas fall on the floor. He rested his head on the wall and started contemplating about nothing.

He’s hopeless. He can’t even go back to the way he was before. The drive isn’t there. He’s alive, but he isn’t living anymore.

If he would be asked to describe his life right now using one-word, it would be pathetic.

Jihoon looked at the desk beside him. It’s just full of white envelopes, possibly bills and loans. His head aches just by thinking where to get money to pay those. There’s no one he could get help from. He has friends but he doubts that they will let him borrow money from them. 

He shoved the envelopes off the desk. Then something caught his attention.

It’s a letter written in a pink piece of paper. He took it and read what’s written on it.

‘Jihoon. I will still love you even if it hurts.’

He read it over and over again. His whole-body shakes while trying to fight the tears already welling in his eyes. He bit his lips while reading the name of the sender.

‘Kwon Soonyoung.’

Jihoon felt a heavy feeling inside his chest. Something was itching to come out again. He tried to stop himself from coughing out more flower petals, but the more he holds back, the more painful it is. The soft petals felt like knife drilling holes in his lungs.

Jihoon then reached his peek. He has no choice but to let it out or else it’s going to suffocate him.

He finally lets out a loud and intense coughed, tightly clenching his chest. Flower petals came out from his mouth, few at first, but slowly increasing in number.

He dropped the mug he’s holding in his other hand, letting the glass shatter, coffee spilling everywhere, soaking the sheets of newspapers and paintbrushes. Both of his hands are covering his mouth but the petals are still overflowing.

Jihoon is going crazy. His condition plus the memories inside his head contributed to the excruciating pain he’s feeling right now.

Jihoon cannot do anything but cry as he watch the flower petals being stained with his own tears.

This is torture. This is the part where he wishes to die just for the pain to stop.

Jihoon continued coughing for a few more times, almost passing out. His vision is already getting a bit blurry. He’s getting dizzy and weak. This disease is killing him, but what’s hurting him more is the fact that his love cannot be reciprocated anymore.

Petals, once again, left a clutter in his floor. He carelessly swiped them on the side with his feet.

Jihoon stood up to get some water and take the meds the doctor gave him. It is not the cure for his hanahaki disease, but it was just to lessen the dizziness and nausea he’s feeling every after he vomits flower petals.

His disease cannot be cured by medicines. The only way he could be cure Is to have his feelings of love reciprocated to him.

Soonyoung has to love him back.

Soonyoung has to love him again.

But that would be like praying for a miracle to happen. He doesn’t even know if Soonyoung can still remember him or not.

Jihoon was about to lie down when he heard someone calling for him.

“Jihoon! Are you there?” Three loud knocks on his door. He slowly walked towards it, still enduring the pain he’s having.

Jihoon opened the door and saw his friend Jeonghan, looking at him with wide eyes. “What happened to you?” Jeonghan tried to get inside Jihoon’s house but the latter didn’t let him.

“Jihoon. Have you been drinking again?”

Jihoon didn’t reply.

“Let me in.” Jeonghan successfully pushed the door open, revealing the mess inside. “What the…”

He looked at Jihoon. Eyes mixed with disappointment and pity. Jihoon just bit his lips and avoided his friend’s gaze.

Jeonghan pulled Jihoon with him. “Jihoon. Look at all this mess!”

Jihoon pretended not to hear him.

“How long are you going live a life like this?! Huh?” Jeonghan made Jihoon face him. “Where is the Jihoon I know? The Jihoon who has so much passion and love for painting! Where is he?”

“Gone.” Jihoon whispered. Jeonghan can see nothing but pure darkness in his eyes. “He won’t come back anymore.”

“Is it still because of him?” Jeonghan asked though he knew that answer. “Is it still because of Soonyoung?”

Jihoon clenched onto Jeonghan’s shoulders and started to cry. “H-hyung…” He sobbed harder. Jeonghan hugged him. He can feel the heaviness of Jihoon’s breathing. And he’s afraid that it’s actually getting worse. Jeonghan was really worried for his friend that’s why he makes sure to visit him every once in a while, because he knows that Jihoon is still having his occasional breakdown, just like what’s happening now.

“I love him. I love Soonyoung so much.”

“I know that Jihoon.” Jeonghan brushed Jihoon’s hair. He pulled away and cupped Jihoon’s cheeks, soaking with tears. “but look at what’s happening to you. You can’t just continue living like this. You deserve to be happy.”

“B-but everything’s gone now…” Jihoon shook his head. “My gallery… m-my love for painting--”

“Why don’t you give yourself a chance? I know the there’s still that little spark inside you that needs to be ignited again.”

Jihoon sat on the couch and buried his face on his palms. “I don’t know, hyung. I really don’t know.”

“That’s why I came here to help you.” Jeonghan sat beside him and handed him a piece of invitation. “You remember my cousin, right?”

Jihoon looked at the name. ‘Hong Jisoo.’

“Yes. I met him before.”

“He’s going to sponsor an art exhibit this next week and he’s still looking for works which could be displayed there. He actually remembered you and told me to send you an invitation.” Jeonghan smiled. “Not to pressure you but he’s quite expecting you and your works to be there.”

Jihoon sighed. “But look around you, hyung. Everything is a mess. I am a mess. I cannot make art anymore. The inspiration isn’t there.” He gave the invitation back to Jeonghan, “Thank you, but I don’t think I can go. Please tell Jisoo I’m sorry.”

He went back to his room. “Hyung, I think you need to go now. Don’t worry about me. I’ll just take some rest and I’ll be fine. I still have to go to my shift later.”

Jeonghan nodded. “I see. Just text me if you need something.” He said. But before he could leave the place, he left the invitation on Jihoon’s couch, still hopeful that his friend will change his mind later on.


	2. Chapter 2

That night, Jihoon cannot sleep. His mind in bothering him. It feels like there is something that is telling him to go to the exhibit. But how? He cannot just go there empty-handed. He needs to bring his works. And so far, he hasn't done any proper artwork.

It will be embarrassing to go there knowing that a lot of great artists will also attend the event.

  
'No, Jihoon. You'll just humiliate yourself.' he thought. 'Stop thinking 'bout it.'

So, he tried to brush off the thought in his head and tried to sleep but he was unsuccessful.

"Ah! Shit!" He scratched his head frustratingly. He kicked his blanket before and going out of bed. Maybe another bottle of soju would help him sleep.

Jihoon dragged his feet and grabbed the half-empty bottle of soju inside the ref. He plopped himself on the couch and opened his phone.

From: Jeonghan

Message:

[Jihoon-ah, just text me if ever you change your mind.]

[And I hope you will.]

Jihoon threw his phone beside him and scanned his room. It's still messy. Just looking at it exhausts him so much. He let out a bittersweet laugh before finishing his drink.

"Lee Jihoon." he sighed, letting out a bitter laugh. "You and your pathetic life."

Jihoon was about to go back to his room when he noticed something. There's a huge box at the corner of his living room. It was where he put all of his paintings after his gallery closed. He looked at it one by one.

All of the memories behind them came back, as if he just painted them yesterday. Happy and sweet memories. As well as the bitter and painful ones. All of those played inside Jihoon's head like a movie. But one painting caught his attention.

It was a painting of a guy holding a bunch of red roses. Stems coming out from his chest. Thorns drilling holes his palms but he was smiling. Though his face were already stained with tears.

Jihoon suddenly remembered what happened on that day.

That was the day when Soonyoung finally confessed for his feelings for him but he rejected it.

That was also the day when Jihoon learned that Soonyoung was suffering from the same disease he has now.

Yet he chose to hurt him. Jihoon kept on telling Soonyoung and to himself that what he feels for him was just a bestfriend ‘love’.

And that was the last time they saw each other.

Jihoon carelessly took the dusty canvas with him. He searched for his art materials and gathered all the used newspapers he could see. He finally made up his mind. He will restore the painting and he'll attend the exhibit.

He's not gonna do this for himself. But for Soonyoung. His most favorite muse.

From: Jeonghan

Message:

[Jihoon-ah, just text me if ever you change your mind.]

[And I hope you will.]

[Jeonghan-hyung.]

[Hmmm?]

[I’m gonna attend the event]

[What?]

[Well, I mean, that’s great!]

[I’m gonna tell Jisoo]

Days left before the event. Jihoon's artwork is almost done. It just needs some finishing touches. He tried to restore some of his old paintings as well.

From: Jeonghan

Message:

[Ji! Is everything all set?]

[Yes, I’ve packed all the artworks I’m going to bring.]

[Alright. Wait for me. I’ll fetch you.]

They went to the venue few hours earlier to set up. As much as possible, Jihoon wanted all his artworks to be seen by the guests. This event is his only hope to bring back his career. His passion. His life. He better not let this opportunity go to waste.

It was late in the afternoon when the guests started arriving. Jihoon looked at them. It seems like most of they came from rich families and he can't help but to feel intimidated.

Jihoon left his post and stood at the far corner of the hall. He felt a little nudge behind him.

“Hey!" Jihoon looked behind him and saw Jeonghan holding a glass of wine. "What are you doing here? You should roam around the venue. Talk to the investors."

Jihoon bit his lips. "But I don't think they're interested with my works." Jeonghan shook his head in disbelief. Jihoon's self-esteem is really fragile at times like this. He can easily get discouraged.

"How can you say they're not interested? Have you talked to them already?"

Jihoon shook his head. "No."

"See?" Jeonghan took a sip of his drink. "You should remove all the negative thoughts inside your head and hope for something good." Jeonghan patted his friend's shoulder. "You're one of the best artists I know, Jihoon."

Jihoon can't help but smile with Jeonghan's words. His friend really knows how to cheer him up at times like this. "I'll keep that in mind. Thanks." he replied.

"Oh! Wait." Jeonghan waved his hand to someone. "Jisoo!"

Jihoon looked behind him and saw Jisoo approaching them. "Jihoon!" The latter opened his arms to hug Jihoon. "Thank God you changed your mind." Jihoon just smiled. "I felt a bit upset when Jeonghan told me that you're not gonna attend the event."

"Maybe he suddenly found an inspiration that made him change his mind." Jeonghan butted in.

“That's good." Jisoo chuckled. "Anyways, I'll leave you two for now. I still have to entertain some of the guests."

"Sure!" they answered in chorus.

"Just approach me or the staff if you need something." Jisoo added. " And Jihoon, I know you need someone who'll sponsor your art gallery. Just talk to the investors, they might be interested to be partners with you." Jihoon nodded.

Jisoo smiled at them before walking away.

"You heard him, Ji. Go now and look for someone who will help you restore your art gallery." Jeonghan said, pushing Jihoon to go around the place. "Meet me after the event." Jeonghan waved at him.

Jihoon gave a little smile. "Sure."

Jihoon did what his friends told him. He approached every businessman in the event. He talked about his art gallery and how he is in need of a sponsor. But it seems like no one is interested.

After a few hours, people started leaving the venue. Jihoon just watched them as they leave one by one. Some of them with smiles on their faces, which means someone bought their works and their career will continue.

Jihoon let out a heavy sigh. "I knew this was not a good idea." he whispered to himself. "Lee Jihoon, you failed again." He started packing his things with a heavy heart. He suddenly missed how Soonyoung would comfort him at times like this.

Jihoon went to the place where he displayed his artwork. And there he saw someone looking at it quietly.

He's wearing a plain black suit, with his hands on his pocket. Jihoon saw him tilt his head in front of the painting. Jihoon took his chance to approach this guy. He might be an investor.

He was a few feet away when he started to feel something different. Something tickled inside his chest. Jihoon stopped for a few seconds to breathe some air. 'No. Not now.' He gulped and continued walking.

As Jihoon walked closer, he can feel that this guy is somehow familiar to him. From the way he stood, the way he tilted his head. It suddenly reminded him of one particular person.

Jihoon was about to tap the guy's shoulders when the latter started to speak. “Do you believe that every artist leaves a piece of them with every artwork they make?” Jihoon felt his knees go weak upon hearing the other's voice.

"This is a great artwork." the guy continued. Jihoon just stood behind him quietly "It's very beautiful." the guy finally turned his head towards Jihoon.

'No way.'

Jihoon wanted to reply, but he can't even think properly. He was left dumbfounded.

"Are you the one who made this?" he smiled at Jihoon.

"Y-yes." Jihoon spoke as their eyes met each other. But it feels different. It's not the same eyes that looks at him with love.

"I see..." The guy turned his head to the painting again.

Jihoon bit his lips. He can already feel something tickle inside his chest.

‘Not now. Please.’ Jihoon tried to endure the itchy, painful sensation inside him.

For a few minutes, silence engulfed the place.

"What inspired you to make this painting?"

Jihoon didn't know what to answer. He cannot just say 'You.' because obviously, he's now a stranger to him.

"I hope you don't mind me asking. I just really find this really interesting becau—"

"Someone I met before." Jihoon replied.

The flower petals are already knicking to go out of his lungs. And this time, he cannot hold it in. Jihoon excused himself and went to the comfort room to cough out the petals inside his chest. He looked at the mirror. His face is already red from all the coughing.

Tears started to form in his eyes.

It was Soonyoung. He came back.

But not for him. He looked at all the flower petals that came from his lungs. These were the evidence that Soonyoung doesn't love him anymore.

Jihoon tried to calm himself down. He still needs to go back to Soonyoung because it would be impolite to just leave without a single word. But when he went out, he saw Soonyoung waiting for him.

"Are you okay?" Soonyoung asked. "You look a bit pale."

Jihoon tried to smile. "Yeah, I'm fine."

"By the way, I'm Kwon Soonyoung." he reached out his hand. "I'm a friend of Jisoo."

"Lee Jihoon." he shook the other's hand. "Nice to meet you."

Jihoon pulled his hand away. "I need to go. My friend is waiting for me."

"W-wait." Soonyoung grabbed his shoulder. "I'm actually going to offer you something." Jihoon furrowed his eyebrows.

"Jisoo told me that you are in need of a sponsor for your art gallery."

"That's right." Soonyoung smiled at him. "I want to help you."

"Why? My works aren't that special." Jihoon said. "I have to disagree." Soonyoung shook his head. "They're beautiful."

Their eyes met once again. Jihoon can still see how Soonyoung's eyes mimic the galaxy whenever it catches light. "They're beautiful, Jihoon." Soonyoung walked closer to him. "Beautiful..." Soonyoung never broke their eye contact. And Jihoon hates it. "...yet sad."

Jihoon looked away, feeling uneasy. "I still need to think about it."

Soonyoung's took a step away from him and pulled out something from his pocket. "This is my number." He placed his calling card in Jihoon's breast pocket. "I hope you'll accept my offer, Jihoon."

"I'll wait for your call." Soonyoung said.

"Sure."

Soonyoung gave him a smile. "It's nice to meet you, Jihoon."

"Nice to meet you too, Soonyoung."


	3. Chapter 3

"Did something happen?" Jeonghan asked as they drive to Jihoon's house. "You're not talking since we left the venue."

"Nothing." Jihoon just looked outside the car, with Soonyoung's face still painted inside his head.

He should be happy that Soonyoung is now back, right? And he even offered his help to him. But why does Jihoon feels like something is different?

"I don't believe you." Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at his friend but he never asked any more questions. He knows Jihoon won't say anything. They arrived at Jihoon's place few minutes later. Jeonghan helped him move his paintings.

Jihoon quickly lied down on his couch. It's been a long and tiring day. He wanted to rest already.

"Did you get a sponsor for your art gallery?" Jeonghan suddenly asked.

Jihoon hummed. "Yes."

Jeonghan gasped and hugged Jihoon. "Really?"

"But I still need to think about it."

"What? Why? You should grab it already before it's too late."

Jihoon took out the calling card Soonyoung put in his pocket and handed it to Jeonghan. "This is why." Jeonghan looked at it for a while. It almost took him a long time to process what's happening.

"So..you mean..." Jeonghan looked at Jihoon with eyes wide open. "You met Soonyoung earlier? At the exhibit?"

"Yeah."

"Isn't that good news, Jihoon? He even wants to help you."

Jihoon shrugged. "How can that be good news. When I saw him, I started coughing out flowers! It's embarrassing, good thing I was able to excuse myself." Jeonghan didn't say anything. He saw pain in Jihoon's eyes. "I'm already a stranger to him."

"What do you mean?" "It seemed like it was his first time seeing me. He even introduced himself. I cannot fucking believe it." Jihoon rubbed his palms on his face, sneakily wiping the tears forming in his eyes.

Jeonghan gave him a confused look. "How is that even possible?"

"I don't know. And I don't think I want to know." Jihoon sighed. "I wanna rest already. Thanks for everything, Jeonghan."

Jeonghan nodded. "Sure. I'll still check on you every once in a while."

"You don't have to."

"But I want to." Jeonghan insisted. "I just wanna make sure that you are fine." He gave Jihoon a pat on the back. "Rest well, Jihoon. And I'll support to at whatever decision you will make."

"Thanks."

* * *

Jeonghan immediately went to Jisoo’s place to talk about what happened. 

"Are you serious about that?!" Jeonghan exclaimed. "Things are going too complicated. I can't believe it."

"I actually feel kinda sorry for Jihoon. It seems like he's been blaming himself for what happened." Jisoo softly replied. 

Jeonghan met with Jisoo to ask if he knew what happened to Soonyoung since they both went abroad for business. Jisoo is Soonyoung's family friend and business partner, so they already know each other very well.

He also saw how Soonyoung suffered from coughing out flowers everytime Jihoon rejects his feelings. Until one day, Soonyoung finally decided to remove the flower roots out of his lungs through surgery. However, the surgery will have two major consequences.

First, Soonyoung's memory of Jihoon will be gone.

Every. single. one. of it.

Happy memories... Painful memories... All gone.

Second, he will lose the capability to love and to reciprocate romantic feelings. 

_What a curse._

Jihoon still doesn't have an idea about this and Jeonghan was contemplating whether he'll tell Jihoon or not.

"Did Jihoon accepted Soonyoung's offer?" Jisoo asked.

Jeonghan shook his head. "No, not yet."

"But do you think he'll accept it?"

Jeonghan took a deep breath. "Not sure, but most probably, he will."

"Then how about his condition? It might get worse knowing he'll be working with someone who has no chance of loving him back." Jisoo sounded really concern.Their friends surely have a twisted fate and they also don't know what to do.

"I'll constantly check on him. But I do hope nothing bad will happen. Jihoon just wanted to bring back his passion for his craft." Jeonghan said.

“I'll try talking to Soonyoung as well. Maybe he has something that will and can bring back his memories with Jihoon." Jisoon added. "Thanks for your help."

"Don't mention it. We're doing this for our friends, right?" Jeonghan tried to remove all his worry.

"Right."

* * *

Jihoon was sitting quietly inside the cafe late in the afternoon, waiting for Soonyoung to arrive. Yes, he finally decided to accept Soonyoung's offer after long hours of contemplating about it.

But did he make the right choice? Jihoon knew that it will make his disease worse, but for him, choosing to be with someone you love will never be wrong.

Jihoon heard the cafe door open and saw Soonyoung wearing a plain white shirt and jeans. Simple yet mesmerizing. Soonyoung smiled when he saw him and Jihoon returned the smile back. The older quickly sat across Jihoon. "I'm sorry I'm a bit late."

"It's fine." Jihoon said. "What matters is that you're here now." it's as soft as a whisper but he knows Soonyoung heard it.

Few seconds of silence engulfed them. Jihoon played with his fingers, waiting for Soonyoung to do the talking.

Soonyoung cleared his throat before placing an envelope in front of Jihoon. "It's about the sponsorship." Soonyoung spoke.

Jihoon watched Soonyoung as the latter took put the pieces of paper inside the envelope. "You just need to sign." Soonyoung smiled and handed him a pen. Jihoon quickly took it to sign the papers in front of him. "W-wait—" Jihoon furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Nothing… it's just... I mean, aren't you gonna read what's written there?" Soonyoung said.

"Are you saying that I shouldn't put my trust on you?"

"No—"

"I trust you. Okay?" Jihoon didn't wait for Soonyoung's response as he continued signing their agreement.

Jihoon slid the papers back inside the envelope and gave it to Soonyoung. "All done."

The older silently reached for the envelope. Their hands slightly touched. Jihoon missed those days when Soonyoung would just sit beside him and hold his hands. Simple yet perfect.

Jihoon was quick to pull his hand back. He tucked it inside the pockets of his jacket before turning his glance away.

Soonyoung cleared his throat, trying to shoo the awkward atmosphere around them. "Do you wanna hang out?"

"Business partners don't 'hang out'." Jihoon stood from his seat. "I need to go home. You can contact me if you wanna meet again." He turned his back and took a deep breath. His chest starting to itch again.

Jihoon was already a few steps away from Soonyoung when he felt the latter's hand around his wrist. "Wait." The older said. "I'll take you home."

"No need—"

"Please?"

* * *

Jihoon stood in front of his house, relieved. All he did throughout the ride was to keep himself from coughing out the flower petals. Soonyoung would look at him from time to time and ask him if he is okay. But of course, Jihoon, the master of playing pretend, would just give the other a nod.

Soonyoung stood behind him as he unlocked the door. "You can go now. Thanks for the ride." Jihoon took a step inside but Soonyoung stopped the door from closing.

Soonyoung took a peek inside Jihoon's house. "Would you mind if I take a look around your house?"

"Yes." Jihoon tried to sound annoyed but he's just afraid that Soonyoung might see his 'mess'. "I haven't cleaned up yet. It's embarrassing."

But Soonyoung still made his way inside. "Wait—" Jihoon groaned. "You can't just barge in like that!" He tried to pull Soonyoung out of his house but he felt weak when he saw Soonyoung staring at him. It's as if the older was looking through his soul.

"How can you live like this?" Jihoon gulped as the tone of Soonyoung's voice changed.

"It's my choice, stop meddling with it. You're just here to sponsor my art. Just that and nothing else." Jihoon hung his head low.

Soonyoung looked at the cluttered floor. Used newspapers and paintbrushes are still everywhere. There's a lot of canvas with unfinished paintings. The house reeked alcohol and paint. But Soonyoung notice the bunch of flower petals lying on the floor.

He took one and observed it. "Where did all these flowers come from?" he faced Jihoon with a curious look.

Jihoon didn't reply.

Well, he can't just tell Soonyoung 'Oh, they're from my lungs. I coughed them. I'm gonna die from pain soon.'

"Jeonghan." Jihoon said. "Jeonghan brings flowers whenever he visits me here."

"I see." Soonyoung replied but he doesn't sound convinced. He took one last look around before going to the door. "I'll go now." He told Jihoon. The younger felt relieved. "But I'll come back."

"We can just meet somewhere. Not here." Soonyoung shook his head. "Nope. I made up my mind." "What—"

"This is why you need to read contracts." Soonyoung opened the door.

"Oh! And you might need to think of a name for your art gallery." Soonyoung gave a little smile. "Bye Jihoon. See you again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *just a short update! 
> 
> happy soonhoon day :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! :)
> 
> this is my first time trying to write a hanahaki fic ;-; i don't know how this will turn out. but i will try my best :)
> 
> Feel free to leave your comments below :)
> 
> Thank you so much!


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